ANALYZE FOOTAGE

“And this guy had just had a dream that Lord Ganesh, the elephant headed god of wisdom in Hinduism, said, I want milk. He's the god of wisdom. I think you might have been able to say it with a couple more $5 words. It made it a little more like snazzy and he just didn't stare at the man. The whole dream was just this elephant headed god staring at the man going, milk, milk, milk, milk.”

“It turns out in Hindu temples all over the world, if you bring milk to one of these statues, the milk disappears. This thing spreads worldwide. And at this point, journalists from around the world are covering it as well. They're doing new segments on it. They're sending reporters out to these temples to see if there's any truth to this story.”

“People are leaving their jobs. The stock market in Mumbai, back then it was called Bombay, but the stock market in Mumbai, shut down. People were leaving the stock market. They're like, oh, we can make profits tomorrow. Let's go find this out. Word began to spread around the globe. Hey, Joe, remember when you left New Delhi? What a rube. The gods here are drinking milk.”

“I had a dream and it had nothing. It was just a normal dream. And then something happened and there was a knock at my door and I opened the door and Satan was standing at the door and he had sliced off Jesus's face and was wearing it like a mask. And he did this little toe tap routine. And it wasn't like the devil with like the red horns and the pointy tail.”

“What they were doing is they were taking spoonfuls of milk. So the smaller amount of milk, the easier it is to make mistakes. A gallon of milk disappearing is far harder to explain or hand wave than a teaspoon of milk. They would take milk and they would hold it to the mouth of the statue. And they would slightly turn the spoon. And then the milk would disappear.”